I have been challenged over the last year to begin writing my thoughts as they come so as to capture the accuracy of the struggles that so often seem to follow nearly every thought worth documenting.  There is an exception to the hearsay rule of evidence that allows into evidence statements that would otherwise be hearsay if such statement was made while the person was perceiving an event or shortly thereafter.  The reason for the exception is that the accuracy of such statement is thought to be trustworthy enough to overcome the rule of hearsay.  My nature is to hear a word from God and then wring out every ounce of divinity until I have it in a form that best suits my desires before discussing it with anyone.  By that time, I am so far removed from God’s prompting that it would be thrown out of a courtroom as hearsay, with no exception.  I am therefore trying to document some of God’s promptings while they are still fresh and hopefully maintain some of their divinity.  The caveat is that they are still being interpreted by my fallible, semi-uneducated, and culturally and environmentally influenced mind.

  • I hope that my active pursuit can help others along the journey.  I have put this off in hopes that I could figure it out first, then write.  I have figured out that I will never figure it out enough to confidently write about it.
  • I hope that my real and transparent recounting of my journey will prove helpful and valuable to my children.  We all know our parents aren’t perfect, but these entries will make it abundantly clear I am sure
  • I hope that my bearing my soul, with at least some of its ugly darkness, will force me to die more to myself, thereby allowing any light that is seen in my life to be God’s and God’s alone
These entries will be likely be raw and will attempt to reflect as accurately as possible the way my mind processes thoughts.  So often I feel like I am residing within a fog.  The fog is comforting and I am not terribly frustrated by it, as I am confident that God will guide me through the fog, but it become painfully frustrating when forced to explain my thoughts.  Therefore, know that some my entries will likely be written before the fog has cleared.  This fog has previously prevented me from sitting down to write.  No more.
It is important to at least know my background and baggage in order to better evaluate my opinions.
  • Southern Baptist upbringing in Louisiana
  • Christianity was a list of rules
  • Pride in my family, race, religion and the South was strong growing up
  • Prejudice toward anyone not like me was accepted with Biblical justification even though it was not preached in the pulpit
  • Money and power were important measures of a man
  • Father was the police chief in my hometown
  • Expectation was that I would be a trial lawyer and work as a prosecutor in my hometown
  • Against these expectations, I chose to attend Baylor law school and pursue a career with a more business focus
  • In law school and shortly after, I discovered my own faith through a group of friends and the study of Romans, beginning my true sanctification process
  • Spent a summer in Africa learning that God desired mercy not sacrifice, as Christ had already done the sacrificing for us.  I needed to love God, my wife and others if God was going to use me
  • Attended a Bible Church since 1999 under the tutelage of Dallas Theological Seminary trained pastors
  • Experienced a Crown Ministries Bible study whereby I began to shift my thinking from ownership to stewardship
  • Read the Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn, causing me to desire to live a life of radical generosity in response to God’s radical generosity
  • Married in 1997, father of a boy and girl, born in 2009 and 2012, both conceived by in vitro fertilization
  • Started and participated in several ministries
  • Started several businesses, some relatively successful, some not.  None extremely successful
  • Musician.  Started a relatively successful band in 2009
  • Prompted in 2010 to do more to help the poor and specifically lead to pursue micro finance
  • Spent the end of 2010 through 2013 actively seeking how God wanted me to combine business and ministry
  • Joined National Christian Foundation in 2013 in an effort to follow God’s call on my life to do more to help the poor and combine business and ministry
  • High dominant and somewhat highly analytical personality, combined with a lack of detail orientation
  • Historical bias toward action.  Ready, fire, aim
  • Lover of business and results that can be measured, devout reader of Inc Magazine
  • Perfectionist mentality with no perfectionist ability, leading to a life of perpetual frustration
  • Survivor, scrapper mentality.  I know that I am not the most talented, but I am historically willing to work hard to scratch out a success, though I always prefer that it not be as hard as it usually is
  • The understanding and embracing of grace are disconnected from the head and the heart
  • Misplaced pride in the value of living a story and living frugally.  I was once told that I was an “experiencist” rather than a materialist
Hopefully this prelude will help you understand the foundation from which I am writing.  Please feel free to comment, challenge, correct, instruct, share, delete, whatever you see fit.  Know that my motives expressed above are pure, so I do ask for as much grace as you can possibly show as I step out here into what are uncharted waters for me.